The Gift of Rejection

Uncategorized May 8, 2023 The Gift of Rejection ByEccentric Vision This is an excerpt from my book ‘Go Shake the Trees’ ‘Sometimes rejection in life is really redirection’ (Tavis Smiley)  At age 21 I certainly knew nothing about handling rejection. After all it is not taught at school, in universities or in families. It is a rather rude awakening when you take up your first job and the jobs that follow. You are not equipped to deal with rejection from prospective clients and the magnitude of the loss of deals. It is soul destroying to be on the receiving end of clear NO’s. It is a confidence breaker. You are thrown with so many curved balls both at work and at home when starting out in your early years and you don’t have the skill or experience to deal with it. The truth is that rejection never lessens or goes away as it remains as a test throughout your life.   If you think you are the only one battling with rejection, you are not. Rejection is part of life. And rejection hurts whether it is in a sale, a relationship, an opportunity, or even a job interview. You cannot escape it, it is everywhere. You will face it and it is best to start managing it, knowing that each time it will get easier. What you can be certain of is that it will stay as a test for life. As soon as you grasp it in your sales career, it will come around in another form. Rejection mastery can never be underestimated. If I was only allowed to give you one piece of advice it would be this: the most important factor in sales is overcoming rejection. Not mastering rejection has caused the demise of so many salespeople. I have seen sales colleagues turn to alcohol, drugs and even end up in depression. Rejection is seen as failure. It is going to happen, and in sales it arrives in truckloads. The most important part in this is how you rise from it and continue. You may spend hours, days and weeks pursuing a sale only to be turned down. It would be irrational to say it wouldn’t affect you at all. Face the feelings yet don’t get stuck in them.          I follow the principle of after each NO or rejection I am one step closer to a YES or a sale. If out of 10 possible deals you convert 3 to sales, every one of those 7 NO’s brings you nearer to one of the 3 YES’s. This was a major realisation and game changer for me. The point is that the more clients you connect with and the higher your visibility, the more sales you will make.  Rejection has now become a fuel to get out there and make sales magic happen. For me it is no longer a reason to stop or give up.  Some tips to assist you: Don’t take it personally, don’t let rejection define or damage you (take stock of who you are and your achievements) Redefine your approach, pitch, or communication style (take action) Remember from each NO you are closer to a YES! (stay focused)   Years back I created a board game called ‘Moving on UP’. I thought this game was a best seller. I used my sports degree knowledge and upliftment training as a basis for this game. What I didn’t do was market research which was naïve. I ploughed my last penny into this business and yes, I sold some games – but not enough. I suffered a financial loss and with it, a bruised ego. I went out there selling this game, yet I mainly received NO’s with only the odd kind person buying one. The point here is, I never let it define me. I realized where I went wrong and was honest as how I could improve.  Keep showing up and never give up! If through rejection you are learning and growing, then you are succeeding! Rejection is meant to redirect you to new opportunities. And remember that rejection is in all our lives to polish us, make us more human and give us a nudge to be even better! Rejection is not the end. It may feel like a death, a blackout, and a point of no return, yet that is not true. Rejection through a different perspective can be a new beginning, redirection, and course corrector. It can bring new opportunity, a breakthrough and be a blessing.  I lost a Toastmasters election, by a narrow margin, in 2021. I felt betrayed and rejected, yet I knew it was for a reason and today I can state that it was a blessing. At the time it was excruciatingly painful and a pain that seemed to never end, yet it freed up my time, it gave me the space to redirect my life and focus on my career. I would not be writing this book, training, and coaching if I had won that election. All my time would have gone into that demanding post and set me back career wise. If you believe that everything is working out for your best interest then you will find the gift in every rejection. You will choose to thrive and let nothing defeat you on your magnificent journey! Previous Post Browse Other Posts All Post Personal Uncategorized   Back Personal Reflection The Gift of Rejection Read More The Truth Shall Set You Free Read More Get In Touch With Me Why be average, why settle? I dare you to thrive! This is a sign and your call to step up in your life. Release those shackles of feeling unfulfilled, frustrated and stuck. A decision you will wish you had taken a long time ago. It is now or never! Growth is not an option yet a priority in your life. It can be a rollercoaster at times yet it is always worth it. You owe it to yourself and

The Truth Shall Set You Free

Personal Reflection April 10, 2023 The Truth Shall Set You Free ByLucinda Harman On the Eve of Valentine’s Day, I sat and reflected. I had endured weeks of Valentine’s merchandise overkill as you have in most shops you walked into. As I looked at these gifts, I just didn’t pick up anything of love but more bullying and manipulation to buy ‘stuff’. It lacked class, culture and yes love. My key question has been: How can anyone or thing buy love? I grew up with materialism being bartered for love. It left me empty, confused and alienated. I rebelled from a young age against the status quo and conditioning. The world looked like some giant circus with so many facades, lies and deception.  People pleasing and blatant denial of the truth when it was super obvious, drove me literally insane. Think back to Hans Christian Andersen’s story of ‘The emperor’s new clothes’.  A story I relish! Nothing replaces love, kindness and genuine human connection. It took me decades to fathom this out. Today I have such human appreciation for the love I have within and from those around me. Not as a partner but friends, work colleagues and even acquaintances. My parents were not able to show or give love in its true sense. Even overachievement in sport or the arts didn’t please them. Nothing was ever enough and so I believed that of myself. My understanding of love was severely tainted from a young age. The language of love, as I saw it, was in the form of manipulation, blackmail and pretty sordid. I always looked outside of myself for validation, approval and love. I searched for close to 50 years for it. Always looking for someone to fill and complete me. Looking for my other ‘perfect half’. It was rather a ‘rude awakening’ when I realised it was not the truth and that all it did was set me up for constant disappointment and resentment.  A search with no fulfilment or end in sight. I spent 3 years in sabbatical, not by choice, to fathom out who I truly was and to gradually undo all these decades of conditioning I had been put through. At the start of this journey I had no idea who I was. I was lost, confused and trapped in a ‘prison’ that I had created. My life had ceased to make any sense and I was literally scrambling to make sense of the mess I found myself in.  I dreaded each morning and each day felt more like some kind of hell that I had to navigate through. I had to unbecome and unlearn all I ever was taught, as my life crashed, in order to find the truth of who I was. Others opinions and perceptions had clouded the truth of who I was. My identity and essence had been lost. I had rebelled against every judgement and attempt to control or change me, but the voices of those around me eventually got the better of me especially in my formative years. The very people I had looked up to whether parents, teachers, coaches and other adults had not allowed me to explore my own identity and uniqueness, but suppressed it with their own desires and opinions of how my life in their mind should look. I was literally being moulded into their limited thinking of how an ‘ideal’ person should be. Never ever considering my unique, special gifts and abilities I had. I was their puppet and under their control. Eventually they had beaten every part of my own voice out of me. I just couldn’t fight against their voices that unceasingly broke and wore me down. Whatever potential and ability I had had been stripped away and I was left with nothing other than being someone I was not. I layered myself with masks and protective layers in order to protect the most vulnerable, sacred parts of myself in order to survive. Never living my life but living in the shoes of others. Eventually my own voice and life force was so silenced and weak. As strong as I was, I had no chance against this mass of constant conditioning and pressure to conform. As a child one is brought up seeking approval from your parents, teachers and other ‘role models’. What does every human want more than anything else? Approval, love, acceptance, recognition and acknowledgement. And so, one seeks this at any cost even if it means betraying oneself and denying your own truth. This is where people pleasing begins. Being alienated, outcast, ostracised and judged is just too painful to bear. How can one handle this at such a young age? One cannot, the pressure to conform and fit in to the status quo is just too big. So, bit by bit your truth is eroded at and you are left empty, lacking self-worth and without any idea of who you are. There is nothing more scary or overwhelming than being stuck in a ‘reality’ that is not YOU!  A box you have allowed yourself to be squashed into so as to make others feel comfortable and pleased. The masses want people to conform and to be conveniently labelled and boxed to their level of limited comfort levels.  You cannot control anyone who thinks freely and lives an unlimited life. It is said that a free thinker and change maker and the most dangerous people to the masses, for they march to their own drum beat. They sing their own unique song. You don’t know what to expect next from them as they constantly charter unknown wild waters with huge discoveries and mind-blowing revelations. This scares most. As Steve Jobs wrote,  ‘Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently.  They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify

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